Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
