hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
