He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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