Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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