If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
