We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
