Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Everyone says I win the strip club
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
