his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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