pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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