***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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