you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
