and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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