I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
