i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
