Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
