Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I need a beard to bite.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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