I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
