we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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