Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize