So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
