I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
