This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
