hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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