I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
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