I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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