I wanna bring you to show and tell
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize