remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
