That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize