The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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