I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
