a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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