how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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