small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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