i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
