the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
