um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
