Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize