i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
