I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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