after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize