There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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