we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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