Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
