Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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