I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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