the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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