Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
