She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
