Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
