Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
