Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
