Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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