hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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