So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
