So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
