Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
