I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
