honey bunches of taint.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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