I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
