Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize