Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
