One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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