Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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