I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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