I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
