She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
