lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You ate ashes out of my bong
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
