Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
