I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
