another moral hangover. fuck.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
