hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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