i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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