just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
